To contact WhiPPet

You could email: iwial@iwial.co.uk

No time wasters please, I have a very aggresive and pro-active spam-filter – you don’t want to make him angry! Seriously you should see what he did to the guy who offered him Viagara with a post that was titled “Increase your size Brotosaurus”.

It was horrible; I still have nightmares and have to drink a lot to block out the screams in my mind.

My spam filter is a small man called Sergei from Eastern-Europe who likes to play with knives; his favourite film is “Mama-Mia”.

 To contact Dave

Best bet is to train a pigeon to seek out raw meat, but the RSPCB (Royal Society for prevention of cruelty to Birds) won’t let us do that anymore.

You could try emailing dave@iwial.co.uk but he likes to respond to emails in person and threw the medium of “mime” – his mime’s have been known to last for weeks (of being trapped in a glass box and running against the wind) and have frequently required the deployment of water-canons, tear gas and riot police to disperse.

But don’t let the mime’s or the thought of Sergei going to work with his knife to the strains of Abba’s “Mama-Mia – here I go again” and “Super Trooper” (actually he’s been favouring “the winner takes it all” lately)  put you off contacting us – we’re essentially harmless – see WhiPPets killing a mouse post to prove it.

If in doubt please feel free to email: iloveyouandiamverygay@iwial.co.uk

Seriously: We would love to hear from you, sometimes we feel like we are just talking to ourselves; and that always ends in an argument – I didn’t talk to myself for 2 weeks after the last time.

Want to submit content? you can as long as it’s rubbish, just email iwial@iwial.co.uk