And another best Monty Python sketch….but I’m not going to bother with the Dead Parrot…
Catch it, Bin it, KILL IT!
British Prime-Minister Gordon Brown’s advice to tackle Swine Flu: “Catch it, Bin it, Kill it”…then wash your hands.
So presumably we should go out and catch a wild Pig (catch it), then hump it up onto our shoulders and sling it in our wheelie bins (bin it), then kill it! … only without knives or guns ’cause we can’t have them; so I’ll have to make do with a hammer – or a sock with a snooker ball in.
Oh and then we need to wash our hands.
Well if that’s what it takes, I’m prepared to give it a go, I’m just glad it’s not Horse Flu.
Heard my first Swine Flu joke the other day; something about phoning the national help-line – only not being able to get through – ’cause there was “Crackling on the line”: get it? Pork Crackling?
We’re doomed!
Anyway, here’s what Some Grey Bloke (that’s some grey bloke – not some gay bloke) has to say on the subject:
Our friends over at: A North Korean in London
Have posted this, we love it.
Worried? Confused? Unsure what to say or do?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Saying and doing the right thing can be nigh on impossible in a world where old values are eroding and new ones seem to be formed every day. Help is at hand. Simply send your problem or concern to Dave and let him help you to thread your way through the confusing and perplexing world of “Modern Manners”.
UK Economy Crashes
Reports have been received of a crash involving the UK economy and another vehicle on the elevated section of the M4 near Port Talbot, South Wales. Eye witnesses of the crash, which occurred in the early hours of Tuesday morning, have suggested that the economy seemed to lose control of fiscal and banking regulatory policy shortly before careering wildly into the path of an oncoming articulated lorry.