Everything’s widescreen now, so I adjusted things so these vid’s now fit.
Arsenal not changed a bit…
Craberet
“No use in sitting alone in your room, come hear the music play”.
“Not only is this probably the best offer you’ve had all day, it’s probably the best offer you’ll have any day, especially when it comes from one of the most wonderful creations ever of award winning Prawnaments TM sculptress, Persephone Clamp”, writes ceramic novelty connoisseur and ex “That’s Life” anchor Esther Rantzen*.
It’s a big “Wilkommen, Bienvenu, Welcome” from Crabaret TM, as this uber-talented crustacean dance troupe welcome you to your very own fireside Command Performance.
Their twinkling toes and mischievous grins will send these happy little critters winging from their sea bed dance floor home into your living room ……. and your heart.
So “don’t stop them now, they’re having such a good time, they’re having a ball”**….as will you, as soon as you make your initial payment of only £95.99 down and 95 further payments of £95, and take receipt of your own personal Crabaret TM performance.
Twinkling toes!
Dancing feet!
Clapping hands!
And, it has to be said, cold, eyes.
Cold, dead eyes.
The kind of eyes that look right through you as if you aren’t really there.
As if you’re worthless.
What kind of coolly malevolent mind lives behind eyes like that? Perhaps we’ll never know.
Perhaps it’s better that way.
Christ, those eyes.
They really shit me up, you know?
*Shudder*
*No relation
** Actually, that’s Queen, not Cabaret, I mean Crabaret TM
Another Big Train sketch to fill our new “Sketches” section.
Story goes that this sketch was actually filmed on the day 9/11 happened (completely by chance and without knowledge of what was happening in the USA at the time) … strangely prophetic.
Big Train – epic.
Anyone whose ever taught a child to ride a bike can relate to this.