WhiPPet
Born at the age of 7; weighing less than 6 ounces and a mere 6 centimetres in length, it was an inauspicious start for the young Whippet (yes that is his real name).
Surviving a childhood in which he was frequently forced to eat what most people would consider “food” he has now grown into an almost normal sized human male and has even been described as quite tall for his height – especially in his work shoes.
WhiPPet is the Chief contributor, Editor-in-Chief and site Admin: and he has rather a nice pen.
Dave
Widely recognised as one the foremost raconteurs and henchmen of his generation Dave was born the 13th child of an impoverished tripe salesman in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
His Mother, a statuesque Latvian Jewess of no fixed abode, instilled in him the sense of pride in his appearance and abiding hatred for estate agents and related trades which was to shape his character and much of his later professional life.
Sporting a club foot, hare lip and pronounced lisp he cut a dashing figure in the Barras and was soon to be seen squiring many a doe eyed maiden, or cross eyed dowager, on ever more depraved forays into the crepuscular and seedy under-belly of Buenos Arian amateur dramatics.
Although not academically gifted he had a talent for treachery, obfuscation and sucking up to authority which was initially noticed by his teacher, the noted Armenian pedagogue and arms dealer “El Meurte”, who gave him his first break as third form capo and, with it, automatic entry into world of calcium enriched violence that is the lot of the ambitious milk monitor.
The majority of his years from his late teens to early 40’s he spent disguised as a Glaswegian fish wife for reasons which remain obscure and upon which he, unusually for a man of with such an innate talent for self publicity, remains reticent.
It is, however, a matter of public record that he both married and raised 5 children during this period, only finally divorcing his violent and abusive husband, Hamish “Daisy” McTavish, after he had admitted to a string of adulterous relationships with various members of the Bolivian royal family.
Now separated and effectively estranged from his children, who, incidentally, under a series of assumed names went on to find short lived fame as boy band “Blue”, Dave is now free to write exclusively for IWIAL and to bring his own unique and violent perspective to what has been described as one of the most exciting and ground breaking publishing enterprises of the 21st Century.